Thursday, October 24, 2013

BACKSTREET GIRLS

I read this great article at Awakened Feminine and thought it is something every woman should read to enforce the idea of sisterhood.

"It became national news this week when two teen girls were arrested in conjunction with the suicide of a 12 year old girl in Florida. Right now that dialogue is centered mostly on the need to monitor our children’s use of social media. 



What we want to add to this whole dialogue has to do with what these young girls are experiencing and what it is we as older women are really teaching them. 


There absolutely needs to be a new paradigm of how women relate to each other. The current, most common paradigm is not working, and it teaches our young girls toxicity, judgement, fear, jealousy and hatred… among many other intensely negative feelings.


Our most common paradigm, the one that every single woman, no matter her age, race, demographic or environment, will tell you she has experienced… is this…

If you, another woman, have something I want, or even if at some point in the past you had something I want, then you are a threat to me, and therefore I will judge you, dislike you, and make you wrong in whatever way I can.

On the subtle end of the spectrum, this can manifest in unfriendliness or an inability to talk and connect with the woman…sort of an avoidance…in the middle of the spectrum it can manifest as gossip, cliqueness and intentional alienation, as well as bad mouthing and energetic (or actual) eye rolling. And on extreme end of the spectrum, this manifests in the absolute intentional dismantling of the woman. An intentional taking down…harsh and malicious gossip, character bashing, name calling, and a general meanness that really sticks and has real deep-seated consequences. This is called bullying when we are teenagers, but when we are adults, this still happens, and it has even more repercussions than when we are younger because it has a far-reaching ripple effect, reaching and influencing the younger generations, those whom we are supposed to be examples for. It becomes the bar we are setting for what it means to be a woman, and therefore what it means to be a young girl. We don’t just experience it on a woman to woman basis, we see it in our magazines, we see it all over the blogs that are aimed at women, and we see it portrayed in movies and tv shows.

This is what needs to change, because there is a lot at stake if we don’t.

The new paradigm is about real support. Rather than seeing another woman’s attributes or beauty as a threat to us, it acts as a mirror for us.

We see her beauty, and because of that, we are able to better see our own.

We stop viewing another woman’s success as a hindrance to our own, but rather we see it as complementary to ours…We need her to succeed because her success inspires us all and helps pave the energetic way for us.

We see other women in their fullest potential because it helps us to see ourselves that way.

We honor a woman’s innate power because then we can honor ours.

We believe in her, truly. And therefore, we can truly believe in ourselves.

This new paradigm is essential. It is the only way we will flourish and it is the only way we can teach our young girls the beauty of womanhood and the safety in sisterhood. We are not enemies and we are not threats to each other. We are all beautiful souls on this journey together and need to boost each other up and hold each other high. We need to stop bonding over gossip and complaints and start bonding over our higher truths. We need to stop the unhealthy competing and start the unconditional support. We need to trust that our true selves are safe with each other, that our faults are not fuel for meanness but rather are opportunities for collective growth. We need to trust that the women in our life are going to see our innate beauty and with truth and sincerity are going to help us live it.

Women, we are the way-showers for our younger generation. They see and hear us. So, what are doing? And what are we saying? They feel our energy and they absorb our energy. So let’s stop emanating toxicity and superficiality and let’s let them absorb our power, our depth, our heart, and our positivity. Let’s show them through our actions that they are supported, that they have nothing to fear, and that they are beautiful. Saying this is not enough. We must act, and we must do it with sincerity and intention.

So in this moment we invite you, with a deep seriousness, to take a pledge to consciously walk this other path with us. Set your intentions, and join us in the new paradigm. We see you, we honor you, and we are ready. This new paradigm is a game changer, and we want you on our team."

Photos: Jussi Ratilainen


1 comment:

  1. This was a great post, Kat! Thanks for bringing this stuff up. There is definitely, and seems like there always as been to some degree, a bizarre dynamic among women, though it seems to be worsening. Through all of the vehicles we have now to showcase our "perfect lives". A couple ways I try to combat this on a personal level are as such:

    1. If I have a positive or uplifting thought about another girl/woman, I TELL THEM. Everyone deserves to be reminded of the awesome traits they carry. Be it beauty, kindness, passion, whatever. It helps to bridge the gap of "What do they think of me?" "Am i accepted?" which we ALL ask at times.. I've found that doing this one small thing knocks down the wall that was there before.

    2. Of course it's fun to post exciting and awesome things on social media, but I try to balance it with "real" things as well. No one's life is "perfect" and its really deceiving to show all of the fun/beauty and none of the hard/ugly..

    I'd love to hear more of this stuff in the future!

    ReplyDelete

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